Speeding is a delight

Tuesday morning at 7am I’m doing 75mph on the highway. There’s no hurry. I just enjoy going 75.  So when I see the Highway Patrol flip around with lights flashing, I just smile and pull over. I probably deserve a ticket.  If not for speeding, then at least for tailgating. 

Cop: Good morning. Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: 70

Cop: I clocked you going 75.

Me: Oh.

Cop: Can I see your license and registration?

Me (smiles): Sure, here you go.

Cop (looks at my CA license and then my CA plates): Where are you even going?

Me: To work.

Cop: Where do you work?

Me: _______________

Cop: What time are you supposed to be there?

Me: Um, 8. I just wanted to get there early, long weekend you know, lots of stuff piled up.

Cop: Well, how can I get you to slow down?

Me (laughing): A warning? I just really don’t want a ticket.

Cop (puts a thumb in his belt loop): Are you sure a ticket wouldn’t slow you down?

Me: I don’t know. Whatever you want.

Cop (beginning to smile): I’ll tell you what. I’m going to let you go today with a warning. But only because I like that sticker in your back window.

Get it? 'Flee Utah' instead of 'Ski Utah?' A special thank you to my sister Paige for making this sticker. Even if the sticky part is wrong side and I have to tape it to my car.

Me (laughing too loudly): Oh my gosh! I’d take Idaho over Utah any day!

Cop: You have a good day miss.

Oh Utah, you cesspool of clichéd misfits, the only good that has ever come out of your suckiness is me avoiding a ticket. For that, I thank you. 

And bless that cop for calling me 'miss' instead of 'ma'am.'