First Impressions

Gone are my days of in-between semester temp jobs. The job I have now is my first legitimate, fulltime, salaried, post-college job. Needless to say, I was pretty nervous for interviews and then my first week or so of work.

On the second day, I found myself sitting in the office of the head of a department. This was a man who the first words out of his mouth in my presence were, “I never smile. I don’t like the way I look when I smile.”

I had a bit of a cough that week and was trying not to cough all over my hands because I was shaking hands all day long. It’s just common decency. We were talking about Japan, I think, when the urge to cough struck.

Unfortunately, I was chewing gum and as I tried to cover my cough with crook of my arm, the force of the cough launched the bright blue gum out of my mouth. It sailed high and straight over my new boss’ desk and landed next to a bookshelf, stuck to the carpet.

Mortified, I jumped out of my chair, squealed, “Excuse me! I just shot my gum across your office!” and snatched the slimy wad off the carpet and flicked it into the trash.

This man is no longer my boss, but surprisingly, we’re friends. The other week I reminded him of this incident and miraculously, he didn’t remember. Turns out, lots of embarrassing things happen in his office…like a grown woman pooping her pants and then forcing him out of his own office because she didn’t want him to look at her.