Ode to Paige

If there’s anyone who trumps me on the family craziness scale, it would be my beloved little sister. As a tribute for her 21st birthday (March 16th), I’d like to dedicate this post to

Paige Sierra Sroufe.

Paige is loved by all, but especially the very old and the very young. She puts them under some sort of spell, as even the most hard-nosed adults are almost instantly endeared to her.

Paige and Baby Cole Woodland.

Paige believes that she has redneck roots.

She wears wranglers and boots.

She drives a black Jeep. “You don't understand. That Jeep makes me feel like I can do anything.”

Paige and her Jeep on the beach.

Paige shops through websites that give her Nascar race points.

She posted a sign by the computer asking others to do so.

Someday, Paige wants to line the inside of her wedding gown with Realtree camouflage. *

She is a fanatical door lock-er. She’s paranoid about people walking in on her while she’s going to the bathroom/changing clothes/any miscellaneous activity people do on a regular basis.

Just for fun, Paige went on the Barry Bonds diet at age 11. She posted a sign in the kitchen, written in vibrant colored markers, announcing the rules of said self-imposed diet: No starches, and certainly no sugar.

Paige goes out of her way to make or find the perfect gifts.

Paige planted carrots right next to the front door of our parents’ house. Shortly thereafter, elderly people from our church began coming over to talk gardening strategies with her. “Have you planted any lettuce or cabbage?” they would say.

Paige wanted to send the LDS missionaries to Franklin, Tenn. to find Kenny Chesney. "We would just work, he just doesn't know it yet," she claimed.

She wishes she owned a larger than life painting of Lebron James.

Paige can be artsy and wild, taken by creative moods that churn the lives of her family and friends into chaos.

As a baby, she was a lovable grump.

Look at those furled eyebrows.

Paige is fearless. She goes where she wants, does what she wants.

She invented her own currency, Paige Bucks, in an effort to hoodwink younger siblings Ian and Raeni into doing her chores. If they completed a chore, they earned Paige Bucks, which they could then use to purchase the old trinkets and junk she had accumulated in her room.

Paige hates the sound of vacuuming and flees the house when anyone attempts to vacuum.

Paige goes by many names, some of which include; PSS, Paigie Wagie Puddin’ Pie, Pagina (PAH-hee-nah), Heeni, and Peege (the last being instigated by Miss Aubrey A.).

She is a stickler for manners. No belching, farting, or talking with your mouth full. Ever. And especially not at the table.

Paige’s charming cheeks may deceive, but she is almost solid muscle.

Paige sans cheeks.

She loves to pester our father until he says, “Paige, I’m gonna thump ya! If you’re not careful, I’m just gonna thump ya!”

Paige is a penny pincher. We were at Disneyland. I was 12, she was 8. Out of money as we left the park at the end of the day, Paige refused to loan me $1 to buy a cookie— even though I was going to pay her back as soon we got to the hotel.

She gets obsessive about shows like ‘Rob and Big,’ and movies like ‘Italian Job’.

Paige loves you!

Me and Paige.

Happy 21st Birthday Paige!

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*I don't know the technical terms for camo, so it may not be Realtree, but it's definitely NOT Army camo.